#189 The Line We Walk: An Ethical Coaching Reflection at the Edge of Therapy
My client had worked for nearly 30 years in senior leadership positions in the IT Services sector. She was struggling to find productive ways of working with her new CEO, whom she described as ‘completely opposite in management style’. Her coaching goals related to confidence, leadership team relationships and managing expectations.
As my work with this client progressed, I became increasingly aware that her presenting goals were intertwined with deeper emotional patterns that were surfacing repeatedly in our sessions. Across several meetings, she became visibly upset when discussing her confidence, her tendency to take feedback personally, and her growing sense of being ‘in a negative loop’. Although she was committed to reframing her mindset and strengthening her leadership behaviours, she struggled to locate the origins of her emotional responses, and the intensity of her distress began to feel disproportionate to the coaching themes we were exploring.
My responsibility as a coach is to remain attuned to the boundary between developmental coaching and areas that require therapeutic support. Through reflective practice and supervision, I recognised that while coaching could help her with presence, focus and work relationships, some of the underlying patterns - particularly her self‑criticism, emotional overwhelm and difficulty breaking repeating cycles - were better suited to therapeutic exploration. This was reinforced when she herself raised the possibility of therapy.
Drawing on this shared insight, I introduced the idea of CBT as one possible route, framing it in a way that preserved her agency and avoided pathologising her experience. We also explored Gallwey’s Self 1/Self 2 framework, which she found both accessible and empowering, and which helped her understand the internal interference she was experiencing. This created a natural pathway to discussing how therapy could complement our coaching work by addressing the deeper emotional drivers behind her confidence challenges.
By supporting her to self‑refer, I upheld the integrity of the coaching relationship and ensured she received the right kind of support for her needs. This experience reinforced the importance of maintaining clear boundaries, listening for what lies beneath the presenting issue, and using self‑awareness to discern when coaching alone is not sufficient. It also strengthened my confidence in working collaboratively with clients to navigate these transitions in a way that protects their well-being and enhances the overall effectiveness of their development journey.
As you consider your own practice, where do you notice the delicate moment when coaching reaches its ethical edge, … and how do you choose to respond?
