If you have young children who come home from nursery, or primary school and let rip with challenging behaviour, it is probably because they have been trying to be good all day. Now that they feel safe at home, they can let their hair down.

Sound familiar?

Great coaches tend to engage with supervision. The benefits of supervision are sometimes lost on novice coaches. With coaching experience comes the realisation that supervision is an important aspect of ongoing development. As your coaching relationships grow, your appreciation of supervision will grow. Reflective practice becomes a regular practice. As you gain proficiency and start helping your clients systemically transform their personal and/or organisational lives, supervision becomes vital.

Last week, I hosted the first CORE (Coach Observation & Reciprocal Exchange) peer-to-peer practice space designed for coaches who want to stay sharp, reflective and connected to the heart of their craft. Fifteen coaches came along and enjoyed the opportunity to coach and observe others’ coaching in a safe and supportive space. ‘I was initially nervous, but this was brilliant’, said one recently qualified coach.

If there’s one topic that reliably divides coaches - quietly, politely and usually over coffee - it’s supervision. Not whether it matters (most agree it does), but how much is enough to sustain ethical, effective and continually developing practice.

Professional bodies offer guidance, but not much in the way of clarity. Coaches bring their own thoughts, fears and habits. And then there’s the reality of practice: time, money, energy and the stories we tell ourselves about what ‘good’ looks like.

So let’s take a clear-eyed look at what’s recommended, what’s actually happening in practice and what your own supervision pattern might be saying about your development.

Most of us move through our days surrounded by thoughts yet rarely stop to notice the shape of them. We analyse, we problem‑solve, we reflect, but we often treat thinking as something that happens in us rather than something we can step back and look at.

The idea of a thoughtscape offers a different way in. It invites us to imagine our thinking as a landscape - something with contours, textures, pathways and horizons. A place we can explore rather than a stream we’re swept along by.

If Mentor Coaching and Coaching Supervision both support coach development, why do they feel so different in practice? The answer lies in their underlying philosophies of learning.

Mentor Coaching, especially within the ICF credentialing pathway, is rooted in a Technological Schooling philosophy (see my previous article for an explanation of different philosophies of learning). It focuses on observable behaviours, measurable competencies and standardised assessment. Its purpose is to ensure consistency and quality control. There is nothing wrong with this, until we mistake it for a pathway to mastery.

Educational philosopher Robin Barrow (2007) draws a sharp distinction between schooling and learning. It’s a distinction that matters far more to coaches than we often realise.

Coaching isn’t just about asking great questions. It’s about choosing our interventions with intent.

In this month’s Choice magazine, I explore how a supervision-based framework can help coaches make more deliberate, catalytic choices in the moment.

If we want clients to be intentional, we need to model it first.

Last Friday, 6th March, around sixty coaching supervisors gathered in London for what was modestly billed as an ‘in-person’ EMCC UK event with Robin and Joan Shohet. In truth, it could easily have been called a supervision symposium. But the low-key framing was simply perfect. It created a space for connection, renewal and replenishment - exactly what many of us needed.

Among the many gifts from the session, one learning in particular has stayed with me: the invitation to notice love, fear, curiosity and judgment, and to treat them as data.

I’m excited to launch CORE: Coaching Observation & Reciprocal Exchange.

CORE is a new peer-to-peer practice space designed for coaches who want to stay sharp, reflective and connected to the heart of their craft.

The space will open four times a year on Zoom for coaches to practise, observe, reflect and grow together. Each session offers a simple but powerful rotation: coach, be coached, observe. The result is a supportive environment where insight, confidence and capability deepen through real experience and constructive feedback.

In 1963, Eric Berne wrote about the structure and dynamics of groups. I’ve been mulling over his ideas as I think about my coaching supervision groups.

I run several supervision groups. The smallest has two coaches, the largest has five. These are ‘closed’ supervision groups, meaning that they are not open to new supervisees joining. They form and then remain together for several years. Occasionally, someone might choose to leave a group, resulting in an opening for someone new to join. This happened recently in one of my groups.

I do not believe enough has been written about what makes a good coaching contract. Over many years of coaching, I have developed my own contracting model, which I outline here.  

Contracting comprises the verbal agreement I make with my client, which is reinforced with a written agreement. Contracting is about establishing a working alliance before the coaching starts. I like to keep things as simple as possible – and I love working in threes – so, for me, contracting covers coaching goals (outcomes), the boundaries of the coaching engagement (process) and the nature of the coaching relationship. It is also an opportunity to outline who I am as a coach and the expectations my client and I have of each other.

In The Shadow of the Object (1987, Routledge), psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas explains how our psyche carries traces of early objects (caregivers, environments, emotional climates). These traces shape how we perceive ourselves and others. They can appear in adult life as sudden shifts in self-experience. They are ‘shadow’ because they are felt (preconsciously) but not symbolised, meaning we have not absorbed them consciously into our self-image.

Athletes know that strengthening their core leads to better balance and stability, more efficient and powerful movement, and reduced risk of injury. Strengthening your coaching core leads to enhanced presence, more effective coaching and reduces your risk of isolation and burnout.

Practising our coaching is the most important way to develop our practical coaching skills. Co-coaching or peer coaching is a great way to experiment with new techniques and learn from others.

CORE is a new, peer-to-peer practice space for coaches who want to deepen their craft through real, relational learning.

People are really good at keeping themselves stuck by playing the victim. Perhaps they are genuinely unaware of the problem or, if they recognise there is a problem, they engage in what I call BMW (bitching, moaning and whingeing – ie, they blame others for the problem and complain about it, or they either make excuses for why the problem cannot be fixed, or wait and hope that someone else will rescue them.

These are powerless behaviours. People exhibiting these behaviours keep themselves stuck by ignoring aspects of themselves, others or the situation that might help them become unstuck.

The Steps to Success model (Julie Hay, 2009) is a framework from Transactional Analysis that coaches can use with their stuck clients to help them metaphorically step up to adopt some powerful behaviours by addressing what they are discounting.

There is a mismatch between the attitude coaches have toward supervision and their actual engagement with it. In a nutshell, coaches believe they should have supervision, but many find reasons not to.

In this article, I will share the evidence, address some of the challenges that get in the way and make you an offer you can’t refuse!

Group supervision is a powerful form of reflective practice and represents a wonderful opportunity for personal and professional development. It is often undertaken in small, closed groups, and while it is less expensive than 121 supervision, it can still be a substantial outlay for coaches, particularly those who are just starting their coaching career. To date, I have only offered 121 and small group supervision. However, larger groups can be effective and typically cost around 50% of closed group supervision, making them an ideal way to get started with coaching supervision.

Is 2026 the year to engage in supervision? I have two immediate opportunities to join a supervision group…

New to coaching?

Just qualified and launching your practice?

Starting out can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. Supervision offers a safe, reflective space to build confidence, explore your identity and grow into the coach you aspire to be.

Join me for a free coaching supervision webinar designed especially for coaches in training and those at the start of their journey.

As we reach the close of another year, I want to thank you for being part of Unleash Your Coaching Talents. Your engagement, curiosity and commitment to growth make this community such a joy to nurture.

I wish you a peaceful and restorative festive break, and a happy, prosperous New Year filled with possibility and connection.