#144 Coaching with Ease: the power of flow with focused attention
Why Coaches Fail
This is the sixth post in a series of 12 about why coaches fail. Being a great coach is about getting the balance just right between not enough and too much, the so-called Goldilocks Effect.
Coaches might underplay or overplay certain behaviours and derail the chances of successfully helping their clients reach their goals. Great coaches manage to strike a balance between these extremes and get it just right.
Today, I’ll explore coaching with ease, show why balancing being in flow with focused attention is so important for effective coaching, and how to cultivate it for yourself.
Coaching with Ease: the power of flow with focused attention
Coaching isn’t easy, but it can be done with ease. Ease in coaching isn’t about being laid-back; it’s about being attuned. When coaches neglect the coaching process or the relational dynamics, their sessions can feel awkward or disjointed. They may skip over contracting, ignore emotional cues or rush through reflections. The coachee senses the disconnect: the coach may be present, but is not with them. The result is a coaching experience that feels mechanical, rather than meaningful.
On the flip side, some coaches bring too much urgency. They push for progress, chase outcomes and subtly pressure the coachee to ‘get somewhere’. This can come across as passive/aggressive: masked as helpfulness, but driven by impatience. The coachee may feel rushed, judged or overwhelmed. Instead of feeling supported, they feel scrutinised.
The sweet spot is what you might call ease with intention. Coaches who balance attention and urgency create a space where flow emerges. They are fully present: listening deeply, responding intuitively and trusting the process. They honour the task and the relationship. Their focus is incisive, but not forceful. The coachee feels seen, heard and gently stretched. Progress happens not through pressure, but through partnership.
Three Tips to Coach with Ease and Focus:
Contract for pace: Ask your coachee how they want to work – fast (for action-orientation), slow (for more measured exploration), or steady (balancing reflection with action)? Revisit this regularly.
Regulate your urgency: Notice when your desire for progress is about you, not them. Breathe, pause, recalibrate.
Stay curious, not controlling: Let insight and action emerge from inquiry, not instruction.
Ease isn’t passive; it’s powerful. And when coaching flows with focused attention, transformation feels natural, not forced.
Visit https://www.growthecoach.com/free-resources to download an at-a-glance summary of all the coaching derailers.
