#143 Trust in Coaching: Between Naivety and Cynicism
Why Coaches Fail
This is the fifth in a series of 12 posts about why coaches fail. Being a great coach is about getting the balance just right between not enough and too much, the so-called Goldilocks Effect.
Coaches might underplay or overplay certain behaviours and derail the chances of successfully helping their clients reach their goals. Great coaches manage to strike a balance between these extremes and get it just right.
Today, I’ll explore trust and show why trust isn’t blind; it’s intentionally built. I’ll set out why striking the balance between the naivety of blind trust and the cynicism that arises when a coachee has no accountability for change is so important for effective coaching, and how to achieve this balance for yourself.
Trust in Coaching: Between Naivety and Cynicism
Trust is the lifeblood of coaching, but when misaligned, it can quietly sabotage progress. Some coaches, in their eagerness to empower, place unqualified trust in their client’s commitment to act. They assume insight will naturally lead to change. But without accountability, good intentions often fade. The coach becomes a passive witness to stalled momentum, and the client may feel subtly abandoned in their efforts to grow.
On the flip side, when coaches fail to contract clearly around accountability, they may begin to doubt their client’s sincerity. The absence of agreed expectations breeds frustration. Over time, cynicism creeps in: the coach questions whether the client really wants to change, or whether they’re simply impersonating motivation. This erosion of trust can lead to suspicion, judgment, and a breakdown in relational safety.
The balance lies in mutual trust with clear contracting. When coaches attend to both the relationship and the task, they co-create a space where power is shared. They trust their client’s capacity for change, but also honour their role in supporting it. Through explicit agreements about goals, accountability and feedback, they build a container that is both compassionate and robust. The client feels respected, not managed. The coach feels engaged, not burdened. Together, they move forward with clarity and care.
Three Tips to Build Trust with Accountability:
Contract for Power Early: Discuss how accountability will work and who holds what responsibility.
Check Assumptions: Don’t assume motivation - ask about it, explore it and revisit it.
Review Progress Relationally: Frame accountability as a shared reflection, not a performance review.
Trust isn’t blind; it’s built. And when it’s built with intention, it becomes the foundation for sustainable change.
Visit https://www.growthecoach.com/free-resources to download an at-a-glance summary of all the coaching derailers.
