#141 Passion with Purpose: Coaching Between Dispassion and Dazzle
Why Coaches Fail
This is the third in a series of 12 posts about why coaches fail. Being a great coach is about getting the balance just right between not enough and too much, the so-called Goldilocks Effect.
Coaches might underplay or overplay certain behaviours and derail the chances of successfully helping their clients reach their goals. Great coaches manage to strike a balance between these extremes and get it just right.
Today, I’ll explore passion for coaching, show why coaching between dispassion and dazzle is so important for effective coaching, and how to cultivate it for yourself.
Passion with Purpose: Coaching Between Dispassion and Dazzle
Passion is a powerful force in coaching, but when misaligned, it can distort the relationship. Coaches who present as overly calm may seem grounded, but if that calmness tips into dispassion, it can feel emotionally distant. The coachee may sense a lack of investment or warmth, leaving them unsure whether their journey truly matters to the coach. Insight may arise, but without emotional resonance, it struggles to take root.
On the flip side, some coaches become dazzled by their own fabulousness. Their passion for coaching morphs into performance. They speak with enthusiasm, radiate intensity, and may even see themselves as the hero of the coachee’s story. But this heightened presence can trigger volatility. Passion becomes reactive: fuelled by projective identification, transference, and countertransference. The coach may unconsciously absorb the coachee’s emotions, respond from their own unresolved patterns, or blur boundaries in pursuit of impact. The coaching space becomes emotionally charged, but not necessarily safe.
The balance lies in what I call ‘passion with purpose’. When coaches channel their love for the craft into service of the coachee’s goals, they bring energy, empathy, and commitment - without overshadowing the process. They stay emotionally available, yet self-aware. Their passion becomes a steady flame, not a wildfire. It warms, illuminates, and guides.
Three Tips to Cultivate Passion with Purpose:
Know Your Triggers: Reflect on when your passion becomes reactive. Use supervision to explore transference dynamics.
Stay Grounded in Service: Let your enthusiasm fuel the coachee’s journey, not your own validation.
Practice Emotional Reflection: After sessions, ask: “Was I present for them, or performing for me?”
Passion is a gift, but only when it’s offered with humility, refinement and care.
Visit https://www.growthecoach.com/free-resources to download an at-a-glance summary of all the coaching derailers.
